Suicide
Suicide
I remember the first time I tried I messed
up bad I ain’t going to hide, took laxative
pills.
Man all I did was boo boo all day that’s for
real.
Then I had this really really bad dream.
Woke up and found out I was living the
nightmare without no screams.
Messed up I had the gun to my face, blast
off was almost official ’til something else
took place.
The devil was in my ear, I was high off of
the weed smoke but then the devil made
haste.
He was saying stuff like you ain’t spit.
You going to ruin everyone’s life anyway
just get over it.
He even claimed you got a die real G’s don’t
live.
Don’t be a coward come on I got better for
you and your kids.
My destiny was at stake and my purpose
to, this is why I bring the truth so real to
all of you.
I had made to many mess ups, it was time
to go.
I felt God was leaving me hanging nice and
slow.
I couldn’t hear him with the banging in my
head.
I for sure wanted death because I was better
off dead.
Then a voice said to me quite nice, small,
and still.
You are the apple of my eye, and yes son
I am truly real.
I was like no way you gotta be kidding me.
He said this is about more than you but your
family’s whole destiny.
I said to myself Tia, and the kids will be
better without me.
4 years later I was redeemed no longer doubting
the real G.
He said I gave you that smile for such times
as this.
I said but Lord she don’t love me, the world
hates me, and my moms is pissed.
Then he sent some friends who were there
to help pick me up.
Mr.E, Thaddeus and Karen, Tia, Deshawn,
Teyanna, and of course Ma’Leah helped to
fill my cup.
See when Ma’Leah was born I was going to
say “F the World.”
I was preaching,doing comedy, and playing
the well known church world.
At this time I was looking for a way out.
I was done and then February 14, 2005
came without a shadow of a doubt.
See I got the call she was about to be born
just as I was getting to blow my last horn.
See no one knew this I had fallen in the deep-
est depression I had ever faced.
Now God had rescued me by giving me my
saving grace.
Karen prayed for me, Mr. E was by my side.
Thaddeus was helping Karen pray, and Tia
and my other kids wanted me by their side.
Ma’Leah Danielle Roebuck and God was the
reason some of you even have heard of a
Big Husky.
She was born and suicide has no longer been
apart of your boy, that would be me.
Somebody Pray right now. Someone is getting ready to end it all. Watch what God will do.
See I was driving today and God showed me that someone is getting ready to commit suicide. I am begging you whoever you are to not end it all. You are more than a conqueror. You are awesome. God said that he would never leave you nor forsake you. God by the power vested in me from you give that person the peace that passeth all understanding for this particular situation right now. Love on them. They need you right now. Devil get your hands off of them. I love you Jesus. In Jesus name we pray amen. He said tell your testimony. I am being honest with you it is a hurting feeling when you are feeling all alone. My daughter being born helped me to really see what God was saying. I was living with my friend R.P at the time and even he didn’t realize I was getting ready to blast myself at his crib. I had fallen. See I was looking at my life as over and empty. God showed me that when he died on the cross 2009 years ago he died just for those times. He made me see that my cup runneth over. I understand what you are going through today but if God can take me from the point of no return to the point of life being good then I am going to sing his praises. People say Darnell why do you show love to people who don’t do gospel because I have been there. Some people are looking to do better they just need someone to say I love you and I am praying for you. When Jesus fixes you I am still going to love you and be praying for you. This is to those who are sitting on death’s door. Know that he saved me and he can save you. So if you wanna be saved call me at 717-557-4799. By the way I was doing comedy, preaching and everything. I love you Lord. I thank you Mr.E, Thaddeus and Karen, Tia and my kids. Hallelujah. Amen.
Darnell “B.I.G. Husky” Roebuck
Life Chronicles With Big Husky
P.O. Box 13081
Harrisburg, Pa 17110
717-623-2394
thedarroeway@yahoo.com
www.myspace.com/officiallybighusky08
B.I.G. Husky
Believe.In.God. Husky
